idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
