Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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