I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
