Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
