capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
