how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
wow bdsm is so cute
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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