Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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