I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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