I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I am one with the molecules
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
