Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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