Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
