Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Less talking, more tequila
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
