i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
