It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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