Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
