seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
