Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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