Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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