i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
