plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
