I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
