Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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