This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize