Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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