I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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