You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
