where does the pee come out of this thing
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
This baby is an asshole
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
