somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
