You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I want to fling myself into the sun
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