when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
