Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
