Porn is love you can see.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
