I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize