It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
