shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
