so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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