is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
