if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
