So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Randomize
