I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize