Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize
