If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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