Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i can't believe i had my finger in that
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
