The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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