his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
