I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Say something about gay babies.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
