Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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