return my video game
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
