I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
They are going to name an STD after you.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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