A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
