I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
