Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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