Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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