normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
