I think im going to throw up on grandma
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
