I seem to have left my pride at pride
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
